4 Misconceptions About Pregnancy
There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to pregnancy and unfortunately they can put a lot of pressure on a pregnant mama. Which really, that's the last thing any pregnant woman needs.
I want to talk about four of the misconceptions that I've had the most issues with in hopes that I can relieve others from feeling the pressure and stress that accompany them.
Misconception #1:
If you’ve experienced loss you have to love every moment about your pregnancy.
...and you better not complain about a second of it. Ooof. I have some thoughts on this one given that I have experienced two early losses of my own before this current pregnancy. I see things from both sides and so I hope that this encourages you. When you're going through a season of infertility or if you're just struggling with not getting pregnant right away or you've experienced a loss you will have a very hard time liking pregnant women. Whether they are complaining or not you will most likely not like them and not want to be around them. This is very normal. When I was in that season I vowed to be conscious of the things I said and who I said them in front of when I did one day end up pregnant. Now that I am in the season of being very pregnant, 31 weeks at the time of writing this, I understand that pregnancy is very uncomfortable, challenging and it's not all rainbows and sunshine. And guess what? That's okay too. Each season is different and it's okay to not enjoy every moment. Both seasons are hard for different reasons and those facts can co-exist. If you're pregnant and struggling it's okay to say so. Maybe don't go on a rant to your friend who is struggling to get pregnant or dealing with a recent loss, but talk to a family member or post it on your social media and ask for help. Chances are those who can't handle seeing pregnancy content right now muted or unfollowed you anyways. If you've experienced a loss and you're frustrated by how uncomfortable you are, that's okay. They were two different kinds of discomfort and you need to honor your body by allowing yourself to be right where you're at, just like how you needed to be where you were at when you were experiencing the loss. Just because something is uncomfortable and hard and you need to complain or vent about it doesn't mean that you aren't grateful. You can be both grateful and frustrated- again, they can co-exist with one another. Don't try to put on a face for anyone, including yourself.
Misconception #2:
If you’ve gained more or less weight than the chart your provider gave you said you could there’s something wrong with you.
First of all, that chart is absolute bs. One, the chart is based off of BMI which a ton of crap and literally needs to be gone away with. If you're interested in learning why, look up the history of the BMI, why it was created, who created it and why it's so inaccurate.
Second, that chart does not take into account your hormones, your stress levels, your financial circumstances, your access to chiropractic care and quality prenatals, your bone and muscle mass or the way your system reacts to certain foods.
Things that can impact your weight:
Foods you can or cannot eat in your first trimester. Your body completely goes out of whack and sometimes people can eat absolutely nothing and lose a ton of weight and others can only manage to get carbs down.
Stress levels when having a baby can go up significantly. This can cause some people to binge eat, gain a ton of weight from their body not processing food correctly or it can cause you to lose a ton of weight. They can also effect your hormones which are fluctuating a ton and cause weight gain.
Access to chiropractic care and quality pre-natals and quality food is dependent on your financial status and all of these things can effect your body and how you gain weight.
Your body automatically retains water, doubles your blood supply and your uterus is expanding. 10ish+ lbs alone are just your baby and all of those extra liquids.
So not only are they not starting off understanding your bone and muscle mass and your hormones and all of that, but they're not truly taking into account all of the things that will effect you during your pregnancy. This is unfair and it varies so much from woman to woman. At the end of the day you need to not compare yourself, do your best to take care of yourself- even if that means you eat popsicles for your entire first trimester, don't stress about working out and close your eyes when you step on the scale at the doctors office, you don't need that extra stress. And if your doctor brings up your weight, bring all of these things up and let them know how very unhelpful and inaccurate their comparison chart is.
Misconception #3:
You have to buy a whole new wardrobe.
Social media is really good at convincing us that we need to buy all of the maternity things. I mean I get it, but at the same time you can get by with just a few staples and adaptations to your current wardrobe. Reality is that most of us only wear a small percentage of our wardrobe so really if you're strategic with what you do buy, you'll be set. My first tip is to accept hand-me-downs from family if you like what they have. Liking it is key because pregnancy can make you feel gross as it is and if you're rotating between a few pieces it's important you have stuff that you like and feel confident in. If you're short on money or want to be more eco-friendly I also recommend thrifting. Children's thrift stores usually have a maternity section and you can find gently used items. My third tip is to narrow it down to the bare minimum. I had a primarily summer pregnancy given that it's hot from April-September in Tennessee. My first trimester I got away with leggings and stretchy shorts I already had. For the summer I bought two pairs of maternity shorts that have been faithful from week 11 through my third trimester. I didn't buy maternity t-shirts, instead I just used my oversized tees I already had and then I bought a couple of tank tops one size up that I could use when I'm breastfeeding and they also lasted me my entire pregnancy. I also lived in flowy dresses that I already had. Now that fall is finally here and the temperature is dropping I found a two pack of leggings and I sized up three times and they fit perfectly in my belly and they're not baggy in the legs since it's stretchy material. Paired with my oversized sweaters and sweatshirts I already have I'll be set for these last two months before he's born. As far as bras go, I went as long as I could without buying new ones and then I sized up a band size and two cup sizes and just bought nursing bras. They are a tiny bit big but they'll last me this trimester and then they'll get their fare share of use once my milk comes in. That comes to a total of 12 pieces I've bought, including three bras, my entire pregnancy. So really, when I say you can get away with not buying a whole new wardrobe, I mean it.
Misconception #4:
You need to have all of the things ready and bought for your baby’s first year.
I have really felt the pressure on this one because of all of the registry guides and the “nursery tours” and all of the things that YouTuber's post. But listen, let's think about this. Most people will have their babies in their bedroom for the recommended 3-6 months, if not longer, and you're probably not going to carry your baby to their perfectly set up changing table every time you need to change them. You're also probably not going to spend much time in their nursery when they're itty bitty, you're going to be in your bed or on the couch or sitting in your plushy rocker. Yes it's nice to have everything set up and ready to go, but sometimes that's just not financially feasible. Or in our case, moving four weeks before my due date, it's just not going to happen. At first I felt a lot of guilt and frustration about not having his nursery perfect and his high chair set up and all the stuff for BLW bought- until I realized that he's not going to need that high chair for 5+ months. He's not going to need an exersaucer or a play gym set up for a few months. He's not going to notice if everything in his nursery isn't set up perfectly and it's okay if I don't have the crib built when he's going to be in the bassinet in our room anyways. We have time and once he's here it doesn't mean that we won't be capable of doing anything anymore. I'll be able to set up his high chair when we need it. I'll be able to buy his sippy cups when he's ready for them. Dustin will be able to build his crib when I need to transition him. Things can be bought and built later and life will go on. It's going to be okay. So stop stressing. Easier said than done, I know, I'm a super control freak who doesn't like anything out of place, especially when it comes to something so major.
I hope that if you're struggling with any of these misconceptions that you realize you're not alone but that it's okay to let go of them. Pregnancy is all about growth and taking each moment day by day as you literally grow a human and grow a mama. Take care of yourself and try not to stress yourself out with all of the comparisons that you will inevitably come up against. It's not worth stealing the joy that you get to experience in this season.
Be encouraged,