8 Tips For Working As A New Parent
Today was rough.
It's 11:05 pm and I am typing away as quickly as I can before Hayden wakes up from his last “nap” of the day before we're out for almost the entire night. I can hear him stirring so I doubt this will be long but I guess I kinda need to vent. Maybe this is for me and maybe it will help another stay at home parent feel not so alone.
I'm starting to miss the days when I could just work.
When I could just come up with an idea and run with it.
..and he's up. Back to one-handed typing.
He made my point.
I'm having a hard time not being ridiculously jealous of Dustin. He can just go to work and the store and do things without thinking twice about a human surviving off of him. I envy that.
On one hand I literally have no idea how anyone goes back to work because I would be crushed and miss him way too much. On the other hand, sometimes I just need a break and I want to be able to just record a video or a podcast or write without getting interrupted every five seconds. I find my patience fading away very quickly.
I'm thankful for friends who remind me that this is normal and totally okay. That I can both love my child and want to be present with him while also missing my freedom and ability to just pick up and do things. I don't have to feel guilty about that internal struggle. And in fact, it's not an isolated one, many feel that way.
The last few weeks I've been working on a project. Having Hayden has actually been a blessing to this project in that he inspired it, feeding him has given me time to work on it via my phone and because I can't just quickly crank it out, he's forced me to slow down and pay attention to the details. I'm really proud of this project because I think it's going to help a lot of women to feel not so alone and isolated. Especially after a year of what has felt like total isolation and far too much judgment.
So I can count my blessings there.
But let me tell ya, reworking a website, recording all of the things, working on copy, graphics, all of it- I'm exhausted. Every nook and cranny of my day is filled. But it's a good exhausted, not the “my baby didn't sleep last night” exhausted, but the kind that leaves you leaping out of bed in the morning because you're ready to get on to the next stage of your grand plan.
Well, thanks for letting me vent, I appreciate it. If you're still around I want to give you some encouragement and a few tips to help you get some work done with a baby. This may only apply to parents with one and I can only give you that perspective but hopefully this helps!
8 Tips for Working as a New Parent
By NO means have we mastered these and most days there is yelling and tears and a lot of frustration. But we're getting there, one day at a time. Here are the things that have helped me immensely and that I am working on integrating.
1. Find another stay-at-home parent to vent to when you need to be reminded that you're still an adult with passions and desires and goals and your baby doesn't put an end to all of that. Someone who will remind you to drown out all of the “mom-shamers” and people trying to make you feel guilty for not giving your baby all of your attention, every second of every day. Trust me, they will be okay.
2. Set yourself up for success. Have your tools that you need to work easily accessible. If you do a lot of contact naps like we do, set up in bed so you can ninja roll them to your side and they can still be near you. Have your computer, headphones, water, a snack, and chargers all there with you so that you have what you need to be successful. It's okay if they fuss while you get that stuff together. Over time you'll naturally start to figure this out and you'll be prepared before they even start.
3. Take it one task at a time. Rather than getting overwhelmed and frustrated about how fast you used to be able to work, just break it down and go. Make a list of individual tasks and tackle them one at a time. If you only get one thing done today, it's one thing more than if you had just given in to the overwhelm.
4. Remember that things will get done, it just may take some extra time. Everyone around you is most likely to give you grace, so give it to yourself too. You deserve it.
5. Look for guidance about how your day should look. God loves to be a part of the intimate details of our day. Ask Him to pave the day and put on your mind the things you're supposed to do that day. Ask Him to bring you peace and joy that surpasses all understanding so that you don't get caught in the “funk”. Days I do this I have significantly better days than when I don't.
6. Ask your partner for help! If you're a single parent, try to get a friend or family member to come over and give you relief. Let your partner know ahead of time what you need from them when they get home from work so they're not overwhelmed or feeling bombarded the second they walk in the door. Respect the fact that you're both probably exhausted, just in different ways. We're working on this right now and it's just one day at a time trying to understand each other's needs and communicate better.
7. Get efficient. Stay off your phone when you're working. Put your headphones in, head down and get to work. Do not stop until your task is done or your baby needs you. Do not multitask as it will only slow you down or cause you to make unnecessary mistakes. Just breathe, it will all get done.
8. Realize on the days that nothing gets done that you are still a wonderful parent and you're still your own human. These days will be over before you know it and you will have more freedom. But acknowledge the hard right now, get those emotions out and just take it a day at a time.
You're doing great.