I Have Never Stopped Reinventing Myself
From the time I was little I have never stopped playing dress up, pretend, house, etc. It carried on into my adult years as I often still feel like I’m playing these games. I have also gone through many career changes & dreams spanning from baker, wedding planner, barista, and human rights advocate to traveling au-pair , journalist & social media manager. But the one career that has stayed consistent from day #1 when I first dressed up in a princess dress and twirled for the nearest crowd: singer. Performer. Artist. Writer. 19 1/2 years later and my first love and passion has stayed consistent amongst crazy changes and locations and hormones and loss and heartbreak and wins and joy. No matter how many times I have tried to give up on myself and quit and walk away, I always come crawling back to my first love, begging it to take me back.
This journey is hard. I have never met someone who did music who didn’t give up a time or two (hundred). It happens. We go through on again, off again relationships and breakups. Our voice gives us the silent treatment while our hands decide to go to sleep leaving us empty and without a voice to proclaim our frustrations. That is simply the best way I can describe the last year of my life. I desperately wanted to write and sing and share music but I was physically unable. I was pained. I was broken. I would start sobbing anytime I started singing, a feeling that for some reason my life was over… (it wasn’t)
This past year I was in a major writing rut, which as a writer is extremely hard to deal with. Feeling all of the things, experiencing all of the feelings, but not being able to process or deal with any of them is infuriating and heartbreaking. THANKFULLY, it came back!
About a month-ish ago after we got married and 99% of my stress was gone from moving, planning a wedding & struggling to make do, my voice came back. I had a thought run into my head, a beautiful line, and in the midst of trying not to rip my hubby’s head off, I wrote a song. It just came flowing out of me, the dam was broken and I couldn’t stop it. It was exhilarating & I literally couldn’t contain the tears as I cried while putting the “finishing” touches on the melody. (A song is never really done.)
With all of that being said, with a lot of convincing on Dustin’s end and kicking and screaming on mine, I am finally going to give music another shot. With a little more time and experience and money under my belt and a FAB support system around me, I’m ready to really give it my best effort.
I was recently faced with the question:
”If you put as much effort into your project, your first love, as you did your clients where would you be right now?” - Kait Visser (a FANTASTIC biz coach/creator of all the things- check out her new summit program for scaling your biz if that’s where you’re at- you won’t regret it.)
Ya’ll that question ROCKED me. The only, and I mean ONLY, thing that came to mind was: Music. I had to do it. I had to start writing again. I had to start performing again. I had to start sharing stories through song again. I had to or I was going to implode or burst or something. So here I am, re-branding (slightly) again while I continue to work my Creative Development biz on the side and pursue music. I’m going to be phasing it back into my life in the next few months & my soon-to-be manager/husband is going to be helping me to do all of the things without getting overwhelmed. I’m genuinely excited & I am so thankful for the positive feedback & support I have already received.
If you’d like to follow me on YouTube, I have a new channel, you can do that here:
If you’d like to follow along on Instagram/IGTV, you can do that here:
If you’d like to follow along on FB, you can do that here:
Thanks for all of the love & support! If there’s a certain song you’d like to hear, I’d love for you to comment below or message me! I am going to be releasing acoustic original music in the next few months on YouTube but I’m also going to be keeping my love alive through sharing my unique take on covers!
Check out my first cover (back) filled with quirky faces, rough edges & me pouring out my 14 year old heart through the master of heartbreak: Taylor Swift. I HATED this song at first, but I’ve learned to LOVE it through re-discovering it & re-working it.
xoxo - Ry