Hey, I’ve been looking for you. It’s actually been awhile.
You see I’ve been thinking a lot about how I could help our future child.
You know I want her to be happy, not like you or me- a little less crazy, maybe slightly like me?
To kick this off I thought that you should know, I can’t help but be concerned.
With what the world is going through now- it’s almost an expected hurt.
So I’m letting you know, right here, right now, my fears & my complaints-
just so you know what you’re getting into loooooong before our first date.
I just want you to know,
I’ve taken a slight inventory & I’ve been crunching the numbers
& I’m a little nervous to share these
You see our percentages they’re awfully, awfully high-
unfortunately it’s not from me- mine seem to be just fine.
It’s yours I’m a little worried about,
they’re actually making me quite insecure.
You know I can’t help but compare myself, when you’re with someone like her.
Or maybe the girl before her,
or the one before her?
I don’t really know who tipped the scale, or if they know the kind of hurt.
The kind of hurt they kicked off- probably without balloons or beats, but if I had only known,
I would’ve hand delivered a few treats.
So yeah, I’m a little psychotic, you should know that in advance- but it really only stems from your
I n a b i l i t y to keep it in your pants.
Have you even thought about me or will I have to deal with your lack of empathy?
Will I be the result of your last heartbreak?
Will I have to follow up on all of your mistakes?
Will I have to convince you that you’re the best I never had-
or will you have actually saved the best for last?
Will I be the last? Or will I have to worry?
Like all of those around me, based off of the ones that have gone before me.
I really wish I didn’t have to think through all of my insecurities, will they be deal breakers?
Do I ACTUALLY need to worry?
Now that I think about it- the rooms been pretty scarce, maybe it’s actually me,
maybe it’s not you that runs scared....
Do I need to apologize for your future mistakes?
Wait no, I shouldn’t worry- they’re your choices, that you have to make.
I literally have no time to think about the future & all of the things- you make me feel like an intruder.
A stalker of my own mind- future me you better watch, I’m coming around the corner and I’m 100% devout, to killing what I may ruin- before it even has the chance to hurt me.
B A C K I T U P
- I’m making this about me again- when it’s really you that should hurry.
You know I’ve been looking for you- but I’ve decided to stop- it’s me you should be looking for,
I’m done pulling out all of the stops.
I know that if we’re going to get this right, it’ll be you who pulls the trigger,
because I’m sick & tired of hypothetical problems, when you should just be making me dinner.
Is that a problem?
Should I go?
Am I messing with my gender role?
Yikes, this all sounds a bit too bold.
Maybe I should just go home.
H O M E- right back to where I came from- where I learned how to stand for who I am
& what I’m worth- so honey you better put me first.
Don’t worry I’ll do the same for you, just please
prove that you’re not going to run away for something new -er, her.
I’ve been there, done that. & I won’t take that pain- nope that shame it’s tucked away.
I’m not planning on dusting it off today.
It’s hiding in my closet with all my other ghosts-
the ones I left behind so that I could be the most-
for me- not for you. You thought you knew where I was going- you’re so stinking cute.
Okay so I might be a bit crazy- but that’s what makes me special.
To make this situation better, I’ll help you out a little.
I’ll take my head right out of my book where I’m plotting the ways to get to you
& maybe then you’ll notice me- I’m the one who’s smiling at you.
It’s simply an invitation- I don’t need an RSVP- all I’m hoping is that