Today I woke up anxious. Heart pounding, beads of sweat trickling down my face, hands shaking. My heart aching, mind going in circles, mouth as dry as the Sahara, it didn't add up. I felt like my body was closing in on me, one wrong move & I was going to implode.
Does any of that make sense? No, not really.
Do I know where it came from? Sort of.
Do I know how to control it? Sometimes.
Do I wish more people understood? Yes.
Do I wish I didn't have to explain when I don't feel like talking, or when my natural response is anger, or when I have no energy to get out of bed? Yes.
Anxiety is crippling somedays. Depression is completely enveloping. My mind, my body, it gets the best of me. My spiritual being is completely detached, hovering, begging to be let back in, but my body refuses.
It takes laughter, a hesitation, a quiver, to open up the floodgates. As the tears escape, I am let back in. Snapped back to reality. The reality that I am okay. The reality that I'm going to be okay. The reality that everything is okay.
Okay. It's not great. It's slightly mediocre. But it's better than nothing. O k.
That is all for today.