Good Advice
Welcome to the Solidarity podcast,
where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is..
being a woman.
This week we will be celebrating my 2nd anniversary. That is crazy for me to say. I truly never could have imagined that at 21 years of age I would have been married, let alone for 2 years.
As short a time as 2 years is, it’s also really stinking long. We’ve done a lot in these two years. We’ve had to make the choice to stay together every single day. We’ve had to make the choice to make decisions with one another in mind.
I’m definitely the more selfish one in our relationship and I know that. It’s something I’m trying to work on. I am in awe of the extremely patient, selfless, annoyingly loving husband that I have been blessed with. Whenever I start to have a glimpse of doubt he comes right back with a reminder that he’s 100% my person.
I really wanted to make today’s episode about our relationship and what we’ve learned these last few years but there were too many lessons to count. And honestly, I know that the majority of my listeners have already been married for far longer than I have and probably can’t relate anymore. We’ve been through a lot but we’ve had a really good two years. We’ve definitely had hardships and moments where we had to choose to keep loving each other through the pain, but for the most part we have a pretty strong, happy, healthy marriage.
Instead, I thought it would be beautiful to reminisce back on my wedding day and share a bit of advice from my guests themselves. Family and friends that meant the most to us that celebrated our love and wrote notes of encouragement that I keep in my wedding box.
These are little bits of encouragement that I reference often and that I think are good reminders for day to day life. In my opinion it’s almost easier to go through the big hard things and make it out on the other side, but loving each other well through the ups and downs of the mundane and the work and the gunk in the day to day- that’s another kind of hard.
So here’s the advice that we all need to be reminded of. It may be things you’ve heard before, but don’t write it off or let it pass right through you. Good advice is good advice for a reason. Let it sit on your heart and take what resonates with you into your relationship today.
So I’m going to be reading these live, this isn’t scripted or pre-planned, I’m just grabbing these from a box and going to be giving them a read.
“No matter what, tell each other ‘I love you’ everyday and keep God first.”
That is solid.
“Your love runs deep and true and we wish you the best life. Always trust and love each other. Life is special and it’s all about what you make it. Depend on each other and don’t expect perfection.”
I struggle with myself, I expect perfection but yet I am far from perfect. One of the biggest things you have to do in marriage is break yourself from being hypocritical because it’s so easy to do.
“Cherish every moment with each other even when times get tough.”
I have had to really learn that slowing down and just taking in the moment and taking a picture with your mind is so important because this time in your life only lasts so long and one day you’re going to look back and miss it. So you have to take advantage of what you have right in the moment.
“Love, respect and cherish every moment together. Take nothing for granted.”
I love this one.. “When you argue you have to take all of your clothes off, it works.
“Say I love you, everyday.”
“Look into each other’s eyes often and pray together even more.”
“Never go to bed angry, it makes nighttime was less fun.”
“Never stop dating each other. Be passionate with each other and your marriage.”
That one’s hard. Sometimes it can feel like getting passionate with your marriage, like obviously intimacy is a whole other thing, but continuing to be on fire for your partner in the hardships and the mundane can be really hard. You have to constantly reminder yourself of why you’re together in the first place and what keeps you coming back and re-finding that spark on a regular basis. Which, never stop dating, that’s a really helpful tip because that’s kinda how you can find that going back to those days of falling in love.
“Whenever things get tough just give it a few more minutes and it will all get better.”
Yes, for sure.
“Don’t go to bed mad. Pray together. Love always.”
“Always put Jesus first in your marriage and life. Don’t get too busy making a living and not living a life.”
That is good, sometimes it’s hard to not get so wrapped up in money and finances and get your eyes off each other and God. I feel like that’s one of the biggest things that breaks up marriages and you have to be so intentional with not letting that take over your life, not letting your job take over your weekends and nights. Not letting it consume every part of you and not letting money issues get in-between you and your partner.
Oh I love this one.
“Remember to ask each other ‘what was the highlight of your day?’ and really listen.”
I have friends, one of my best friends actually, their dad, every single time I’d come over to their house which was pretty much every day in high school, and the girls when he got home, “what was the highlight of your day” and I just love that question because it was just such a beautiful moment to reflect and even on the hard days you could find something to be grateful for and that would just light your day up and bring you joy. Even if it was just like chicken pad thai, which a lot of times it was because those days were hard, but it was just so fun to take a minute, stop and reflect on your day. I need to do that with Dustin, ask him the highlight of his day, I’m sure it would bring us both a lot more joy.
“I can’t say so how much more effective prayer is when you pray over each other out loud. It’s intentional, real and unifying. I highly recommend it.”
Yes, that’s a good one.
“Have fun and enjoy life.”
You know I think more of us need a reminder just to have fun.
And I love this last one.
“Neglect the whole world but not each other.”
It can be really hard to get wrapped up in the world and take your eyes off each other. You have to constantly be coming back together and reunifying and checking in and getting good with each other because it can get really easy to let the world get in-between you and let you drift apart.
It may be 9 am with my coffee cup in hand, but let me give a toast. To healthy marriages, loving our partners wholly, learning to give and take and give some more, respecting the journey and apparently taking off all your clothes when things get frustrating. To the next 70 years. To us. Cheers!
If you enjoyed today’s episode please share with a friend who needs this encouragement, help me get the word out on social media and if you’re feeling it, subscribe and leave a review to help get it out to others on the algorithm who need to be shown some solidarity! Thanks again for listening and be sure to check back next Wednesday for a new episode!
As always, I’m so glad you’re here.
And we’re going to do a little bit of uplifting right now.
You’re wanted, needed and loved.
I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you’re enough.