Don’t Judge A Girl By Her Nails
Welcome to the Solidarity podcast,
where we share stories to connect with one another, find comfort in life’s challenges & to celebrate the solidarity that is..
being a woman.
Today I’ve got a quick message for the women that are battling mental health issues and doing everything they can to simply get up and take on each day. I’ve been there and I want to tell you a little story.
I’m not the get your nails done kinda girl.
I just don’t have it in me to maintain that kind of lifestyle.
I can’t pretend to be perfect through the manifestation of my nails. I don’t have my life together like that.
I can’t pay to have them done when I know they’re just going to get messed up the second I do something normal.
I’m the girl that gets her nails dirty and then picks away at them because it bugs me.
I’m the girl that chips a nail, no matter how much gel is on them pretty much immediately.
I’m the girl that bites them as I nervously make my way throughout my day.
My anxiety about anything and everything can be seen in my nail beds.
My health, slowly fading away can be seen in the peels and the chips where they tried to grow back but couldn’t help but leave a reminder of the damage done.
It’s not hard to see that I’m not put together and that starts with my nails.
It’s not like I haven’t tried, in fact I used to be really put together, people praised me for it.
But when I moved away from the praise I kinda just stopped trying because I was exhausted from having played the role of miss perfect for far too many years.
My heels now go untouched and collect dust in the back of my closet, a worn our pair of adidas replace them.
My jewelry sits there limp and lifeless because I can’t be bothered to put it on.
My wardrobe is exhausted from being picked over and the three shirts I wear- well, you can tell.
This is what anxiety and depression do to a person.
No matter how much you have the desire to put it all together and make it happen, most days it just doesn’t.
It’s not that I don’t have the tools, it’s just that I go to grab them and the thoughts inside my head tell me that I can’t pull it off the way I used to.
Nobodies fooled by what I’m trying to pull.
Why try when it’s all going to come off at the end of the day?
Why put the effort into doing my nails when they’re just going to chip and everyone’s going to see what’s really underneath- peeled, gnawed and sad.
The devil is really good at sending his spirit of darkness and once I’ve walked into it, the more I twist and turn the more I get tangled up. The tighter the net gets the harder it is for me to escape the spirit of sorrow that encompasses me.
I watch sermons that tell me to pray it away but I just don’t have the words, it’s like a spirit has robbed my mind.
I seek for those around me to pray but I find that my demeanor and darkness has pushed them all away.
I beg my husband with my eyes to intercede on my behalf but he’s not there yet. He’s been held captive himself.
It’s a dark circle I spin into and sometimes I stay there for awhile until I can gather enough strength to call out “Jesus” and once I do, He comes. He always does.
He cuts the net and sets me free and then I’m good again, until the next time.
I wish there wasn’t a next time because I know that when I’m walking closely with God I don’t fall in as easily, but because of my chipped and gnawed flesh I inevitably stray a little farther and a little farther and I fall right back into that trap.
It’s the curse of being on this earth I guess and I won’t be set free until I am home.
I know there are other people who feel this way, there must be.
I know my experience isn’t isolated and so that’s why I’m sharing.
Because oftentimes when we share about spiritual warfare, mental health battles and seeking healing as Christians we’re met with
“you must not trust God enough”
“you must not be praying enough”
“well that’s what happens when you take your eyes off God”
and while that last statement may be true to an extent, there is still a level of grace that must be had.
We must seek to better understand the spiritual battle that we are walking into everyday and we must pursue supporting each other with prayer in a more intentional way.
The prince of evil is good at his job and he has a lot of the world fooled, why do we think we are immune to that?
That what we’re struggling with must be our fault and a matter of something we did wrong?
Why can’t we just be the victim of evil, the target?
There’s a reason why we have to stay diligent in the Bible and prayer not because if we check the boxes we’ll be unaffected, but because we have to stay grounded in truth so that we can more easily spot those traps and lead our eyes back to God.
We are all susceptible to evil and when we think we aren’t is when that darkness can most easily take over.
We must be humble in realizing that we are not enough and that we can’t do it on our own.
We have to let go of the expectation that we can have it all together.
Because even when I kept my nails done, my heels high and my lipstick un-smudged, I was still hurting underneath. I was working double time to make it look like I had it all together when I absolutely did not.
And ya know, part of me thinks that God stripped those desires to be so focused on my outward self so much so that I’d have one less layer to peel away in the fight.
There’s nothing wrong with caring for your appearance and being a good steward over your health, we’re called to do that, but don’t let it distract you from the greater battle at hand.
Realize that the things that you’re struggling with are not the result of anything you specifically did. They’re the result of sin entering the world.
But God has already set us free from that. We just have to accept it and step into faith. We have to let him fight our battles and humbly come back every time we slip. He is a loving and good God and He is fighting for us, always. Which means we don’t have to fight the demons we’re dealing with, we only have to ask that He is present and that He removes them. They cannot be in the presence of God.
John 10:10 reminds us of the beautiful truth that
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly.”
We will continue talking about mental health here, but for today I want to leave you with this encouragement and reminder.
Not everyone who appears to have it together is doing well, so don’t compare your appearance, demeanor, or attitude to anyone around you.
In the same way though, don’t close your eyes to those around you because you’re hyper focused on only being around people that are you in your same boat. Be aware of those around you and be on the lookout for those who are silently struggling and may need encouragement and prayer. Even the women with their nails done need love and encouragement. And those of us who aren’t even trying to hide the struggle- well, we really need it.
Don’t be stingy with your time and prayers. Even if you don’t have time to slow down and be an active presence, pray for them diligently because prayer is powerful.
Matthew 18:19-20 baldy states:
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
So no, I’m not the kinda girl that gets her nails done. And I’m super broken and I deal with a lot of mental health issues. But God is still using me and that is a testimony to his character and who He thinks I am. Even blemished and constantly falling into the enemy’s traps, He still wants me. He wants you too.
If you enjoyed today’s episode please share with a friend, help me get the word out on social media and if you’re feeling it, subscribe and leave a review to help get it out to others on the algorithm who need to be shown some solidarity! Thanks again for listening and be sure to check back next Wednesday for a new episode!
I’m so glad you’re here.
You’re wanted, needed and loved.
I see you, I hear you and you my love, by the grace of God, you’re enough.